Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Dating Advice Question

I recently visited the "Dating For Today's Man" (DFTM) site and looked at all the interesting advice given for how to communicate with women. Lots of top-ten lists like "What women find unattractive," "things that impress women," " flags women look for," "...dos and don'ts," etc.

It all boils down to a complicated maze of advice for the purpose of having a relationship with a woman. If you took all of the positive and negative qualities listed on the DFTM site and created a checklist for yourself, and somehow managed to achieve all the good qualities and avoided all the bad qualities, how likely could you maintain all of those qualities, every day for the rest of your life? How long could you last under those conditions?

If you lack a major portion of those characteristics for yourself, but you managed somehow to get married and have children, you might choose to instill some of those positive qualities in your children to improve their chances of having "successful" future relationships based on those standards. Is our culture capable of adopting the proper habits of good relationships proposed by this site?

The mere existence of the topics covered by DFTM says that enough people fail to successfully navigate through the mine field of expectations, that they seek help here, which is great for advertising. However, this is also a symptom that these expectations are not natural. Where did the unnatural expectations of behavior come from?

What is probably more dangerous is your daughter's expectations that her date is actually a gentleman and not the animal he really is, simply following the intricate instructions necessary to get into her pants. Widely miscalculated expectations on dates may be a major cause of unwanted pregnancy.

Sites like DFTM and the classic magazine found at the grocery store check-out line present celebrities with extraordinary characteristics. The articles are spectacular, not normal. Normal behavior would not qualify for magazine articles. However, the material is presented in such a way that the casual reader develops unrealistic expectations and feelings of extreme disappointment in their own lives because they feel that standards are too high to reach for themselves.

Unrealistic expectations generated by mass media create fear, and in some people, to such a degree that they won't go outside because they are unrealistically ashamed of their own appearance. It's made much worse for people who have little or no control over how other people see them.

A person's expectations of others are typically higher than can be achieved by that person. This is a human weakness easily preyed upon by marketers who submit what appear to be informative articles juxtaposed with advertising. Most people don't hold themselves to the same standards they hold to others.

Propaganda as a soft tool of eugenics may yield results in a shorter period than previously estimated due the proliferation of sites like DFTM and the "style" magazines on the Internet. Meanwhile, stop beating yourself up over your appearance and get out more frequently, and accept people for who they are.

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