Friday, April 20, 2012

The right buzz

It's Friday and most people I know who work hard want to get hammered drunk, but just getting wasted on a Friday night doesn't work anymore when you hit forty eight, at least for me anyway. It would have been fine if I had the foresight to know that moderation keeps you from burning up your liver too quickly so you can enjoy the liquor longer. But I didn't, so drinking makes me sick longer than it allows me to enjoy the intoxication effects. It just doesn't work anymore like it once did because I drank too much too often, and now it feels like a kind of booze impotence.

Word of advice: limit yourself to three drinks with dinner once a week until you retire, then you can afford to get totally sloshed and maintain a total drunken stupor all day in your boxer shorts and black sock straps as you parade your lawnmower across your front lawn right as the kids across the street get off the school bus.